Tank Girl: You gotta think about it like the first time you got laid.
You gotta go: "Daddy, are you sure this is right?"

Bilder gibts bei thepooldiariesvisuals.

Das Rennen hab ich verpennt (ja, zu viel gefeiert am Samstag!). Soll aber leider ned so spektakulaer gewesen sein weil ned Mann/Frau gegen Mann/Frau sondern immer nur ein Fahrzeug auf der Strecke war und um die beste Zeit gefahren wurde. Also scheinbar ned richtig Dragracing, schaetz es wird an den oertlichen Begebenheiten gelegen sein. Hat mich ja sehr gewundert das der Veranstalter ueberhaupt die Sperre der Bundesstrasse bewilligt gekriegt hat. Gratulation!

Mit 15 Eurenten Eintritt wars zwar ned billig aber mir hats gefallen. Die Rock'n Roll Band am Samstag Abend hat fuer gute Stimmung gesorgt, schade nur das um 22.00 nicht mehr besonders viele Gaeste anwesend waren. Einige hatten sich scheinbar schon Richtung Party verabschiedet.

Und ja, ich hatte die gesamte Convention ueber das dringende Beduerfnis mich wieder "pecken" zu lassen. Waer vielleich gar ned bloed wenn i ned sagen muesste "ich hab 8 Taetowierungen" sondern "ich hab 3 Taetowierungen". Schau mer mal. Der linke Arm? Old School?

Erst ma Kohle ranschaffen.

Es jaehrt sich bereits! Zum zweiten mal findet am WE in Gleisdorf die Styrian Tattoo & Hotrod Show statt. Das Lineup fuer die Quatermile ist schon sehenswert, vielleicht kommt da ja sogar noch was dazu!

Warum stellt etwas das lange her ist und das mit mir gar nichts zu tun hat ein Promblem fuer mich dar?
Weil Du es ins heute und auf Dich projezierst.
Aber wieso entstehen solche Gefuehle bei etwas das mich nichts angeht?
Weil dies scheinbar ein wunder Punkt von Dir ist und Du, wenn das Thema nur annaehernd, und ich meine damit auch sehr wage, in diese Richtung geht Du ueberreagierst
Ich hab nicht den Funken Grund agressiv zu sein stimmts?
Ja. Gar nicht.
Wie kann ich dann meine Gefuehle unter Kontrolle bekommen?
Indem Du Dir immer und immer wieder klar machst ...
Ich hab diese Gefuehle ja nicht dauernd!
... klar machst, dass die Situation so ist wie sie ist und weder Du noch sonst jemande etwas daran aendern kann.
Ich liebe Sie.
Ich weiss.
Aber wie kann ich mein Gleichgewicht finden?
Hoer auf fuer Verzicht oder Leistung Belohnung oder Dank zu erwarten.
Aber ich habe das Gefuehl dass mir genau dieses fehlt.
Ich weiss.
Und durch staendiges Verdraengen oder mir Einreden dem ist nicht so, alles is ok, beginnts zu brodeln und dann irgendwann kommts halt hoch!
Ja, aber loesen kannst dieses Problem nur Du mit Dir allein. Dafuer ist Sie nicht zustaendig.
Aber wenn die Situation ...
Scheiss "wenn die Situation"! Die hat sich keiner ausgesucht. Reiss Dich zusammen.

"... is like one of them crazy ass australien wooden frisbees!"

randy in "stole a badge"

"my name is earl"

My Name Is Earl

This list is a work in progress as the series continues. Doubles or changing numbers are mistakes of the show's producers/prop department.

1: Stole ten dollars from a guy at the Camden Market
2: Took money from car coin holder
3: Copped a feel off old (Miss Jones?) but I think she liked...
4: Blew Dad’s chance to be elected Mayor
5: Picked my nose in public
6: Took Borrowed money from tip jar
7: I stole money from cars a lot
8: I did my best friend's girl A LOT
9: Cheated alot on my school tests
10: Experimented with (Baking soda?)
11: Took beer glass from cafe for ... as a present for Joy
12: Made a lady think I was god
18: Told an inappropriate story at Hank Lang's birthday party
23: Peed in the back of a cop car
26: Robbed a stoner blind
27: Made fun of people with accents
28: Stole those pine tree air freshers
29: Harassed a reporter
30 Stole a motorcycle
33: Been a lazy lover
37: Stole laptop
40: Broke Dodge and Earl Jr.'s clubhouse
41: Snatched a kid's Halloween candy when he came to my trailer to trick or treat
42: Cut holes in all of Dad's shirts to show his nipples
43: Racked a rich guy
44: Picked on a French kid
49: I've been wasteful
50: Kicked Tom out of band
51: Slept with Ralph's mom
53: Put used gum under almost every table I've ever sat at
56: Stole liquor from liquor store
56: Larceny of a kitty cat
57: Told Joy Dan Dodd messed himself on the golf course because she thought he was cute
57: Gave Randy a "swirlie" when he was five
58: Fixed a high school football game
59: Everything I did to Dad
60: Pulled fire alarm
61: Stole Mom's car (but I gave it back)
62: Faked death to break up with a girl
62: Siphoned gas
63: Wasted electricity
64: Spray painted the bridge
64: Picked on Kenny James
65: Cost Dad the election
66: Let mice out at school play
67: Stole beer from a golfer
67: Ran over Crackers
68: Blew up mailboxes
69: Cheated on high school tests Alot
71: Took magazine from neighbor's porch
72: Cheated on girlfriend and lied about it
73: Accidentally started a forest fire
73: Always took a penny, never left a penny
74: Always ruined Joy’s Christmas
75: Took wine from church
76: Stole Borrowed Mom's car
77: Shoved an old lady out of the ...
78: Got drunk on Easter
79: Killed cat trying to see if it ...
80: Parked in handicap ...
82: Borrowed silverware from Crab Shack
83: Blew up mailboxes
84. Faked death to break up with a girl
85: Took clothes from ... laundramat
86: Stole a car from a one-legged girl
87: ... paid ...
87: I broke into houses
88: Told Randy he would (land?) if he jumped
88: Left cigarette ...
89: Broke into a house, had a party and didn't clean up
91: Made fun of Maggie Lester for having a moustache
98: Told Dodge & Earl Jr. we would have a father/son day at Mystery Fun Land and didn't take them
102: Harmed and possibly killed innocent people by second-hand smoke
107: Put bleach in ... laundry detergent
108: Lost Dad's Mustang
109: Fixed wiring so neighbors (nosy ones) didn't have power for a week
111: Accidentally broke Tom's Toe
111: Ruined Joy's chili
112: Let Donny Jones serve jail time for a crime I committed
116: Parked in a handicapped spot
117: Killed cat trying to see if it would land on its feet
119: Ruined Joy's chance to get into art school
126: Helped myself to the tip jar at Crab Shack
127: Stole a badge from a police officer
136: I've been a litterbug
139: Stole beer from a golfer
140: Took ... pickup ... (is this the birdbath?)
140: Forgot ... pick up ... school
142: Had egg fight down a main street
143: Farted in Joy's Face
144: Pulled whiskers from Randy's chin
145: Dumped Jessie to marry Joy
146: Puked in drum set
147: Had egg fight down a main street
147: Shot Gwen Waters in the ass with a BB
147: Forgot to pick up kids at school
148: Accidentally neutered Joy's breeding dog
149: Screwed up Joy's baby pants
150: Fix Randy
151: Beat up Joy's nitpicking Internet friend
152: Told Joy Bruce Willis was a ghost
153: Broke Joy's fancy figurine
154: Gave Joy a tape worm
154: Put sugar in Ray's gas tank
155: Sold Joy's hair
156: Told Joy Dan Dodd messed himself on the golf course
157: Gave Joy 236 bladder infections
157: Aimed and set off bottle rockets at Randy when he was on a date
158: Made Randy steal electronics and got caught
159: Stole P's HD Cart
160: Set off bottle rockest at Randy with ...
164: Burned down a barn at the Right Choice Ranch
171: Went to Sex Anonymous support group to pick up girls
183: Never took Joy's side
188: Slept with Linda who was married
202: Stole a wallet from a guy at a gas station
203: Stole various snacks and drinks from a local quick stop
205: Gave Joy's car a dent, said it was a hit and run
206: Refused to dance with Too-Tall Maggie at the eighth grade dance
207: I've been wasteful
239: Made a kid scared of the boogeyman
241: Made Derek Stone late for work
258: Took Donny away from his mother for for 2 years
259: Took Randy's one touchdown
260: Neglected Randy
261: Ruined Joy's wedding
262: Slept with Crab Man's fiancée
263: Broke bus stop while looking for Poncho the blue fish
264: Punched college student
265: Punch Tom in gut
265: Didn't pay taxes
266: Never gave Mom a good Mother's Day
267: Lost my own car because I'm an idiot
269: Got Catalina deported
270: Kept a guy locked in a truck
273: Kept myself from being an adult
a: Finish high school
b: Get a real job
c: Move out of the motel

Numberless Entries:
Took donuts from bank where I'm not a customer
Stole birdbath from the back of a pickup in the parking lot of some building
Slept with Sherry who was married
Told a little girl it was her fault Christmas was cancelled.
Let a homeless guy serve time for a crime I commited
Broke a window
Renamed a playground game "Smear the Kenny"
Kidnapped a camera man
Made a homeless mans face blue
Got Darnell stoned
Made fun of pregnant Joy
Nearly got my parents divorced
Played pranks on Randy
Robbed a deaf woman while she slept
Ruined Dad's vacation

stolen at tviv.org

Randy: Being dead is definitely worse than being alive. When you're dead, you can't do all the cool stuff you can do when you're alive. You and I, we can do all kinds of cool stuff 'cause we're livin'. We're not dead. We're alive. If we were dead, we wouldn't be able to do all the cool stuff we can do because we're alive. Dead people can't do cool stuff. Only people that are alive can do cool stuff, because they're livin'. And you have to be livin' to be able to do cool stuff. You have to be alive. Yeah, except, when you're alive, sometimes bad stuff happens, too. Like sometimes you can get in a car wreck, or you can have a headache, or twist your ankle, or even stub your big toe. So bein' alive is kinda hard, too. But I think it's definitely better than being dead.